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Before the 8th grade, my grades were perfect. Every test I took, I knocked out of the park. However, the change of events in my home life started spilling over during the day at school. Living off sugar had a terrible impact on, well, everything. My breakfast of candy bars and skipping lunch left me sleeping through math and everything past 1 pm. I had a little bit of energy in the mornings for PE. Not that I wanted to have the energy for it, because it was my least favorite class. My eye-hand coordination was so bad that I was the last person to be picked for any team sport. Heck, anything involving a ball. If I was on your team, you were sure to lose. If you didn\\u2019t participate in group sports, you had to work out in the gym on the equipment. Naturally, nobody taught us all how to correctly use anything, so we would go over there and do idiotic things that made us hurt a lot later. I didn\\u2019t like weights either, so I started pegboard climbing, which was great because nobody else wanted to do that, and I had it all to myself. I became so good at pegboard climbing that I started competing against other people and schools.
What is pegboard climbing you ask It is a flat board mounted high on the wall filled with holes and numbers. Without using any of your lower body, you climb from one spot to the next, or you swing your body over to a number called out. When your body gives out from exhaustion, you fall to a cushioned mat below. My upper body strength became insane, though I was only about 90 lbs, so it wasn\\u2019t like lifting much. This was the closest thing to a sport I\\u2019d entertain. Unfortunately, after the 8th grade, I never saw a pegboard again.
The worst part of my day was changing into and out of gym clothes. I would rush to the locker room and try to beat the rest of the students there to slip into my gym outfit without anyone seeing me naked. That sometimes didn\\u2019t work, so I would fake that I needed to pee and change in a toilet stall. After class, the toilet stalls were often full, so I mastered the art of changing my shirt without anyone seeing anything. I\\u2019d put a shirt over the shirt, and then, like a magician escaping a straight jacket, I would wiggle my way out of the dirty gym shirt. Sometimes I would just leave the gym shirt on because it was a nice grey color and well, fuck it. I had less of an issue being in my underwear, but I didn\\u2019t want anyone to see my chest or lack of one. I was flat as a board.
My friend Katie however, had the most beautiful breasts ever, and when we changed, I would look over at her and peek. If I had breasts like hers, I would walk around naked in front of everyone like she did. I was in awe of them and filled with envy. In the 8th grade, she was easily a D cup, and her body was small in proportion, so they stood out. I didn\\u2019t understand that I was not just curious about Katie but attracted to her. She was in my mind, the perfect girl, and she reminded me of Snow White. If she ever cosplayed as Snow White, it would have been perfect. I loved sitting next to her and watching her put her makeup on after her shower and loved watching her get dressed. She made PE worth going to.
I didn\\u2019t yet realize that girls could be into girls, so I shrugged it off as fascination with her beauty instead of attraction. If she had understood it and held my hand, I think my mind would have exploded. I\\u2019m not sure what I would have done because I was still in the fairytale land of finding the perfect boyfriend and the ideal hands to hold.
Summer of 1977 was when I first fell in love. That was also the summer of Son of Sam, the killer who was terrorizing New York City. Lurid headlines blazed from the front page of newspapers, and all my friends in tenth grade were cutting their hair because Son of Sam supposedly liked girls with long hair. I kept my hair pinned up in a bun. He hadn't shot anyone with that hairstyle yet. Disco music, like a noxious fume, was everywhere. I hated that pulsating rhythm and incessant beat. Donna Summer moaned with one orgasm after another.
In the basement of the Ansonia apartment building, where my piano teacher lived, was a notorious swingers club called Plato's Retreat. Supposedly, naked people lined up for a lavish buffet and then had orgies in a heavily chlorinated pool. One rule was that single men were not allowed to enter the club. Sometimes lone men would approach me on my way to my piano lesson at night, offering me fifty dollars just to walk in with them through the front door.
At sixteen, I had very limited experience with boys. There had been awkward kissing and groping in 8th grade games of Spin the Bottle, and a boy at a party who grabbed my breast as if he were testing a grapefruit. When I slapped him hard, he actually began to cry. I attended an all-girl camp with very strict counselors. We were checked daily to be sure we were wearing bras in case one of the boys from our brother camp wandered into our territory. Unlike my cousin Maureen, who had been sleeping with boys since 8th grade and was already on the pill, I felt woefully ignorant. \"Just wait,\" Maureen told me. I didn't want just sex. I wanted to be possessed, the same way as my favorite literary lovers, Cathy and Heathcliff. But, as Maureen reminded me, their affair did not end well.
The Reuven Ramaty High Energy Spectroscopic Imager (RHESSI) has justcompleted a successful second anneal of its high-resolution germaniumdetectors to reduce the effects of radiation damage. RHESSI's overallsolar hard x-ray performance is now even better than when it was newlylaunched. Because there is some residual damage, the resolution fornuclear gamma-ray lines is still degraded, but the instrument is in goodcondition for continuum spectroscopy of non-solar sources like cosmicgamma-ray bursts and terrestrial gamma-ray flashes. See RHESSI ScienceNugget #127 at tohban/wiki/index.php/RHESSI_Science_Nuggetswhere you can also find short articles on a variety of RHESSI sciencetopics.
On April 13, Swift detected its 500th Gamma-Ray Burst (GRB). This \"500 bursts in 5 years\" milestone added to a long series of Swift's accomplishments, such as discovering the highest spectroscopically confirmed object in the universe (GRB 090423 at z=8.2), recording a \"naked eye\" burst (GRB 080319B), and witnessing the birth of a supernova (SN 2008D). To date, 75% of all GRBs with known redshifts were discovered by Swift.
Fermi E/PO NewsFermi has been highlighted in Epo's Chronicles 2010 Special Episodes for March, and will be a part of the 2011 Epo's Chronicles Calendar. ( ) The Fermi Race Card Game has recently been showcased at the Northern California Boy Scouts of America Centennial Anniversary Jamboree and Expanding Your Horizons (for eighth grade girls).
There was an IXO Science meeting in Paris at the end of April. The presentations from the meeting can be found at: main topics of the meeting were recent results and preparations for the ESA Cosmic Visions 2015-2025 (CV2015) process, with an emphasis on synergies between IXO and other future observatories. The science, technology and programmatic input is collected into a 'Yellow Book' which is the submission to the CV2015 process. The science section draws from the white papers and 'Requests for Information' (RFIs) that were written for the Astro2010 process, and also includes new information. This section is in draft form and will continue to be developed over the next few months. The technology section will be based largely on the two parallel industry studies that ESA is currently carrying out. Final report from the CV2015-2025 process is expected about June 2011.Upcoming events include a series of IXO presentations at the SPIE meeting, 'Astronomical Telescopes and Instrumentation 2010' which will take place in San Diego the end of June 2010. Talks will cover the overall observatory, instrumentation (including the expected background), optics, mission operations, and other topics. As usual, these talks will be available on the IXO website ixo.gsfc.nasa.govTechnology development efforts are continuing, with progress on both optics technologies (slumped glass and silicon pore optics). X-ray pencil beam tests of the SPO optics are now finding 9'' HEW/PSF (two reflections) for small stacks of plates mounted in a flight-like mirror module. As a reference, in 2007 similar tests measured 17'' HEW/PSF. Upgrades to the Bessy-II and MPE/Panter X-ray test facilities are underway to accommodate the 20m focal length of the IXO optics, and will allow full beam test in the fall of 2010. X-ray test of the slumped glass optics found 16'' HEW/PSF in 2008, and optical metrology is now measuring 6.5'' HEW/PSF. These optics will be tested in the GSFC X-ray test facility before the end of 2010. A separate study of slumped glass optics is underway at MPE (Germany) and Brera (Italy) which would use connecting/reinforcing ribs to assemble mirror modules, similar to the NuStar method. The IXO Telescope Working Group will hold its next meetings in June (Brera) and December (Prague)to assess progress and to review and update the technology development plans for both types of optics.The XMS team is fabricating 32x32 pixel demo arrays, with the correct pitch and close to the 40x40 extent needed for the inner high resolution array for the XMS. Preparations are continuing for a 3-column x 32-row multiplexing readout demonstration of such an array. Back to Top 153554b96e
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